I walked for miles tonight; despair my goad;
From your doorstep to the signal lights of Link Road.
My feet moved on, with strength endless,
And time found made my mind confess.
Thoughts assailed me from hither and yon;
But, yes, as I walked on, I grew less forlorn.
From the time I left you, I searched for Hair;
But this need was overridden by despair.
As I rounded Mithibai, I looked up at a tree:
Streetlights lit its polished leaves in vanity,
Their bellies glowed golden like the setting sun,
For all their show, my gaze on them was the only one.
I was part angry, part dejected, because of you,
Though a few smaller factors were at work, too.
Betrayals I am well-versed with, for sure!
And regarding them, time, I know, is the best cure!
I passed Juhu Gali and saw a bitch and her puppy,
Felt love, hate, depair, frustration, felicity…
I want you to steal the fire from the sun;
Wish you to declare: for you I am the only one;
That you’ll be mine despite even Heaven above!
Lover, if words are not your scope then act!
Don’t play dumb when you dislike a lover’s act!
I part venture out at night to see
How far could I go before you stop me.
Hold my arms, bar my way!
If not implore, demand me stay!
Say my walking alone at night
Fills your heart with fright!
Don’t just offer money and say go back home,
Bring me back to make sure I don’t roam.
To me, that would speak of how much you care,
Ah! But your pride leads to my despair.
At Sony’s showroom, I looked up at the sky,
And, through the clouds, saw a plane pass by,
Thoughts of my sister, in a distant land, assailed,
Thoughts of spurning riches prevailed;
I did so, for I gave value to matters of the heart,
But you, too, saw different right from the start…
I do not doubt the measure of your love for me –
But pride and lack of action suits your vanity;
Then there are filial ties that bind you;
And I’m suffocated by my age, too.
Moments pass and I finally sit in a rickshaw,
I look at hair and get reminded of each flaw.
Then I return home to compose this verse:
Construct a marriage car fused with a hearse.
I have still no clue as to what’s wrong or right;
But know there’ll be more walks for me at night.
2nd September, 2004.