If I’m calm it’s not because I am so
(Do deeper waters not remain more still?)
Sharp thoughts seem to demand of me to know
When will I ever seem to have my fill –
Inward I rage with the strength of thought
And outward I smile and gloze polite –
At what bitter cost is that smile bought,
You may never hope to even guess right.
I rage with the force of a hurricane,
Against the interiors of my skull,
Like the iceberg that tore, in disdain,
An unsinkable ship’s mighty hull.
I smile, and smile and I smile and I smile
And thoughts converge in swirling tornadoes;
And my heart, all this anxious while,
Begins its illegitimate throes.
And quickly it picks up the rantings
That the skull had to shed downward,
For the mind hurled superfluous pantings,
Which now the heart has loyally incurred.
My lips yet smile and I appear calm;
And I smile I smile and do it again
Speaking of nary a single life harm,
Initiating mind screams or heart pain.