Cobwebs

Newly woven webs

Glistening and gleaming, almost moist with sheen

Pulling me into dark depths

Where I will never again be seen.

The old webs are lackluster,

Without stickiness or life or shine,

They hang derelict

And I wonder if they were once mine.

Both webs tear at me

Strands of hair pulling at my skin

At one end a fatal trap

At the other preventive medicine.

Let the world end

How long has it been
since a kiss:
a mouth taking up mine
the feeling of bliss?

If the world were to crumble
or the seas rush in,
with my lips warm,
my eyes closed,
I’ll give in.

The questing tongue,
the breath i take,
the will i give,
the sound i make,

I remember still,

A kiss,
a god send,
let it be now
and let the world end.

Chemotherapy

Birds outside this room
Fly so completely free –
Oh, what do they know
Of chemotherapy?
They are part of Nature –
Which is just fire and ice –
With no manmade notions
Of virtue or of vice –
So ignorant they fly –
I wish I could too –
With no view of life
And of death no clue.

Silence

I screamed and I screamed

And all you heard in the shouts

Was a vain silence

Wraith

This year came unto me like a Wraith;
Bearing away my hope in surreal faith;
It unfolded its stygian wings
And spewed forth such ghastly things:
Cancers of different kinds,
Affecting the body, the heart, the mind,
Gods disappeared with flute and tusk,
The sun merely gazed from the gathering dusk.
Fight against the dying light, Thomas said;
But Plath was also a poet to be read.
I tried to run to the sun, catch his light,
His failure proved to be the worst of the blight,
He could do naught but be what he is
And change not a jot of how he lives.
So as the day died, he left me to night
I stopped screaming. I surrendered the fight.
Doing this brought me some clarity:
The utter darkness of wing made me see,
This wraith of Time is my constant friend,
Who doesn’t give hope, who doesn’t pretend,
Who promises not even pain to rend
Some new beginning from an old end.

Unhappy

There is this part of me,

A responsibility,

I feel it every day,

Scraping my insides,

I have reasoned with it,

Telling it to grow up,

Be strong and face life

And its reality.

I have bargained with it,

Giving it compassion,

Clothes and food,

Even a daily hug;

But it wants more.

I cannot give this thing

A loving glance,

It has remained the same,

I’ve outgrown this dance.

It asks me at daybreak,

If I still feel passion;

But time has changed me,

In every physical fashion.

It seeks to feel what I gave,

A long time ago,

I choose to bestow a hug

And nothing more.

It asks me at noon,

If I remember it at work,

And I want to yell

“How can I forget your fucking nails?”

It asks me at twilight,

If the sun is as gold

As the time we danced,

I look at the gold and think

How many more years

Before it burns out.

Perhaps if I ignore the thing,

Its own need will eat it alive.

I’ll prevent a rescue,

Even if it is from me –

Perhaps sadness will do the deed

For it can never be happy.

To my mother

If there is a God and he lived here on earth
he must be the one who gave me birth
he is the one who raised me through time
he is the reason and he is the sign
he took care of me when i was in pain
he remained awake and made no complain
he accepted me as i happened to grow
i quietly reaped as he managed to sow
my love knows no definition
with this god of mine
we share a unique rendition
of this music through time
so you, dear woman, are god as i see
you are my mother, you are he.