i am ready

this last loss eats away at my insides
there is nothing to hold this fall
heart caves in like rolling tides
a whirlpool consumes it all

but it doesn’t end
every insidious particle of life
lover mother god friend
bring new oceans of strife

the dark is all that i can see now
love was an illusion of time
i hope beyond hope in this flow
but hope it seems was never mine

the paths of water rage and roar
and i try to stay afloat
somewhere i see eagles soar
while my ears hear waves gloat

the whirlpool again begins to swell
and i am caught again in its eddy
and death has forsaken this hell
though i scream i am ready i am ready

I Always Will

I miss you still,
I guess, I always will.
As the nights turn colder,
I see stars growing older.
In starlight, you shine alone,
I see tears, I hear a moan,
I see eyes, moist and brown,
Zoe, I put you down.
I stopped your pain.
Yes, I would do it again.
You know I loved you so,
So I had to let you go.
Death is easy for those who die,
The living struggle to get by.
So be free of God, life and me
I am afforded no such liberty.
Yes, I miss you still,
I know I always will.

It’s the memories

It’s the memories everywhere

That keep me in thrall – I stand and stare:

Here you used to lay your head on my feet,

There you would patiently wait for a treat,

Downstairs you would run to fetch your bone,

You never ever left me alone.

Oft I did. When I would leave without you

And I’d say I’ll be back in minutes two.

You cocked your head as I walked out the door;

But you have left me forevermore.

Who will sit by my side these long nights?

Who will I cuddle and hold so tight?

Who will take me on impromptu walks,

Or just sit with me when I don’t talk?

I love you, I did and I always will –

Of you my heart cannot have its fill.

I still will wake and miss you on my bed,

I still ache to hear your bark or your tread.

Little memories remind me of you.

Each is vividly permanent and true.

I stand and stare and then I quietly weep

And hope I meet you again if I sleep.