The Trend.

I watched the waves.
They crashed into the rocks.
A done-to-death metaphor.

I saw the foam stick.
I saw the spray hit the air.
While you slept.
Blissful.
The trend of all lovers.
Once the passion is dead.

The sea will recede.
The rocks at least have faith.
The sea will return.

I walk back home.
To my side of the bed.
Sleepless and faithless.

Breathless

I can't breathe.
I try hard,
But I fail.
I follow
All the rules;
I still lose.
I am free;
But in life.
In all love,
I am caught.
Wrestling hard,
Against pain
And sorrow.
People see
Just the smile
And the love;
But the tears
The tears, tears,
Are all lost,
In silence.
No one sees
(Or chooses
To see) them.
I shudder
To wonder:
If all life
Is this way…
Or maybe,
Some morning
Will bring peace
With the love,
And all life
Will quiet.
But I think
That then is
Death.

A Fool’s Hope

Everything is right.
Everything seems fine.
Everything is love.
Everything has time.

The flowers will not die.
The food will not go bad.
The water will not dry.
The smile will not be sad.

This love is here to stay,
That is what lovers say,
There is no need to fear,
It’ll be here everyday.

Loneliness won’t occur,
For promises are made;
No one betrays hope here,
No memory shall fade.

I won’t be left alone,
That can’t ever be true;
You love me very much,
Much more than I do you.

Time can’t rage its battle;
Love cures all that pains;
Life has no mastery,
No one hears it’s complaints.

Losing you isn’t possible,
It’s never been so before;
No one leaves love’s house,
Once you’ve shut the door.

I worry needlessly:
Everyone holds me dear;
You most of all (I think)
Give me no cause to fear.

 

Being Made to Believe

I was made to believe in all that’s right;
My elders told me good always prevails,
The day always follows the darkest night,
One succeeds despite all the times one fails;
They said keep faith, have strength, do the right thing;
Rise up each and every time you fall;
Trust in life, no matter what it may bring,
In time, tears do end, love does conquer all.

Now I’ve seen bad things happen to the good,
Seen fools prosper, the fatigue of the wise,
Though I lived just as I was told I should,
I acquired a heartache that never dies.
And yet I find I’ve this lesson to learn:
Those who leave, seldom, if ever, return.

Quietly

Quietly you lived,
Quietly you bore;
Quietly you made,
Quietly you tore;
Quietly in time,
Quietly you learned;
Quietly with age,
Quietly you burned;
Quietly they lied,
Quietly forswore;
Quietly you must,
Quietly let go.

Beware

I cannot share;
But I must care.
I cannot hope
And I must cope
With love and life,
Both smiles and strife,
With wounds and tears,
Galloping years;
With love’s disdain,
With lust, with pain,
With darkened moons,
Blistering noons,
A starless sky
No will to try,
I cannot share:
Beware. Beware.
Hope’s forsaken,
Am I taken?
The wounds are raw,
No fatal flaw,
But smiles, though rare,
Force me to dare,
So I must care,
Beware, beware.

Degenerative Myelopathy

Each day the light grows closer,
Each day the spinal chord slows her;
All I can do for this heart of mine
Is bargain with what I hope’s divine.
I cannot appease my cold fortune,
So I just drag my heart to its tune.
I drag her on the roads she knew well,
My heart bursts, but hey, who can tell?
I see how she wishes her body could play
And I rue to see her struggle this way.
I have given death three children in pain.
After her, how will I ever love again?
She brings light into my dark life –
She is my daughter, sibling, wife.
As the light shines in the distance I know,
I will have to someday let her go.
But my heart cannot agree
To what must be, must be.
I guess this is what prayer helps with,
But I have no trust left, not a bit.
She is my heart, my heart is she
And my heart is dying silently.