I was made to believe in all that’s right;
My elders told me good always prevails,
The day always follows the darkest night,
One succeeds despite all the times one fails;
They said keep faith, have strength, do the right thing;
Rise up each and every time you fall;
Trust in life, no matter what it may bring,
In time, tears do end, love does conquer all.
Now I’ve seen bad things happen to the good,
Seen fools prosper, the fatigue of the wise,
Though I lived just as I was told I should,
I acquired a heartache that never dies.
And yet I find I’ve this lesson to learn:
Those who leave, seldom, if ever, return.
They warn me I speak too much of my heart:
I am too vocal about what I think:
I mention every thought right at its start:
Way before the mind and heart form a link.
They say I am too childlike and confess
All that I know; let my truth rule my voice;
And let my conscience turn its duress,
On certainties, both traumatic and nice.
I know not what power compels me so,
To hone neither tact nor diplomacy;
I love, I laugh, I cry, I feel, I show –
I may do it all quite complacently.
No burden of regret makes me believe;
I go on wearing my heart on my sleeve
If only I had loved him instead of you:
What all could have been different in me;
I would not have to become someone new,
Every time I hoped you would choose to see
How I looked to gain any affection
From your eyes that never softened on mine,
Or your hands that never sought direction
To touch me and still that moment in time.
If only I could love him. He looks at me
The way a thirsty soul seeks water
And the betrayal of hope that I see
Is of a lamb that knows it’s up for slaughter.
If only your love had been quite like his;
If only I could love him quite like this.