Losing Parts of My Soul

and winter brings with it each year,
a weariness from the last tear
that tore its way out from my eye
with no will to lay down and die;
it’s not a proper death, my dear,
it’s a theft, a little each year,
yes, i resent this on the whole,
losing little parts of my soul,
little here, little there, little
went down the drain with my spittle;
so why do tears fall with those leaves?
why does the brain think as the heart grieves?
what answer I seek has nature guessed,
or has she in autumn confessed?
why is the tear still forming to flow?
what is it i do not in full know?
Is it the blight man was born for?
Is it me I quietly mourn for?

– inspired by loss
and by the climax of Spring and Fall by Gerard Manley Hopkins

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Those books, those films, those stories and those songs

Those books, those films, those stories and those songs

Convinced us how love in life belongs.

They made us sops look for it all over:

Hope to look for it in four leaf clovers.

They never mentioned what to do after –

When the tears slyly kill the laughter,

When the stars and moon blot out and die,

When we glean every one was a lie.

They never talk of love’s staying in lease,

Or of death, or of pain, or of disease;

They never mentioned how love loses faith,

How it doesn’t need another love to mate.

 

Maybe, I am to blame for I looked away,

From the books, films, songs that had this to say.

 

I realize now what love’s true nature is:

Unjust quotients of sadness and bliss,

A ruse to reproduce before you get forlorn,

With nothing to do once the kids are gone.

Of this I’m sure: after all the cheating,

Although love leaves, the heart keeps on beating.

A Wannabe Sonnet

Smiles have now replaced tears:

They do not come from joy,

But actualization of fears

In destiny’s employ.

I have no cause to trust anyone:

Not a jot of certainty or strength,

Within this heart or mind run,

Of any scope, or any length.

What certainty in principle I knew

Now bows to lessons from lies,

Love exists like it was never true

Tainted by a myriad sighs.

I wish I can still close my eyes and dream

Instead of smiles that hide the screams.